38 things learned in India

1. They are like that only.

2. Overnight train ride in 1AC not so bad (if you have your own cabin).

3. Overnight train ride in 2AC is still creepy if you’re a woman.

4. Dal can become a necessity with almost every meal.

5. As an outsider, once you have lived in India for 4 years you can try street food and not die. But sometimes you can be a native born Indian and still be laid up for 4 days from the stuff.

6. Privacy is a myth.

7. There is hot and there is India hot.

8. Redheads are considered sluts. Being a redhead can earn you a slap in the face.

9. As a man, you can drop your trousers in the middle of crowded train station and no one cares.

10. Queue jumping? Nothing a sharp elbow can’t fix.

11. Intermissions happen in movies that don’t need intermissions (see: Inception).

12. Your concept of “clean” gets somewhat relaxed after 2 months. Not be changed forever but just as long as you’re there.

13. See above regarding clean clothes.

14. A cup of chai will set your day straight.

15. You don’t even notice the power cuts after a while…unless you paid up for the A/C room.

16. When a shop has the word “INTERNET” on it don’t assume that you can actually access the internet there.

17. Masala movies, masala relationships.

18. Love is life.

19. “Yes” can mean “No” but sometimes “Yes” unless the answer is definitely “No” then the answer is definitely “Yes.”

20. You have to be ready for Varanasi because it’s ready for you.

21. Hindus are born, not made.

22. There are a million ways to God, choose one or all of them if you like.

23. We seem to like Ganesha and Kali.

24. Cow pee can purify the soul (that’s what we heard, we really don’t know).

25. Cow poo is an excellent mosquito repellent (same, same as the cow pee).

26. Shatabdi Express is the king of trains.

27. We will never call a bus/auto rickshaw/cab/jeep/cycle rickshaw/hotel room/street corner/train/train platform/train station crowded outside of India ever again.

28. Saying “haa” for “Yes” is strangely addicting.

29. McDonald’s and Pizza Hut have security guards and A/C. Pizza Hut has margaritas!!

30. If you think it can’t get any worse, wait until it’s dark outside.

31. Indian food is glorious but not three times a day.

32. The Taj Mahal is indeed all it’s cracked up to be.

33. The Karma Sutra Temples are truly one of mankind’s treasures.

34. After a thousand generations and six families pooling their resources, one Dalit can break the cycle of poverty.

35. There is creation, there is preservation and there is destruction.

36. If you’re there long enough your head will start to wobble too.

37. One of most amazing things about the Lotus Temple is the ability of the Bahai to keep a group of Indians quiet.

38. They have a version of American Idol called Indian Idol and it’s good.